A Guide to Surviving the Death of a Spouse

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At St. Charles, we have many years of experience crafting custom monuments for grieving Long Island families. As a result, we now have a profound insight into loss and the way it affects people. Our primary mission has always been to help guide those suffering grief through a very stressful and traumatic period and provide unique, enduring tributes to life. Therefore, we know just how disorienting it can be to lose someone.

One of the most profound losses anyone can experience is the death of a spouse. Obviously, this is one of the most devastating losses for many reasons. Losing a husband or wife can leave us feeling shaken, anxious and uncertain about our futures. However, there are some methods that will help us navigate these losses without succumbing to despair. Below, you’ll find a guide to surviving the loss of a spouse.


Don’t Be Hard On Yourself

After such a devastating loss, there’s no “right” or “wrong” way to feel. Therefore, you shouldn’t pressure yourself to feel anything other than what you’re feeling. Countless variables play a role in your reaction to this loss. In this case, factors like the duration of your marriage, how they died, and the nature of your relationship can all contribute to how you feel.

You might feel shocked, numb, overwhelmed or terribly sad. Everything from arranging the funeral to making dinner can feel nearly impossible in its difficulty. Also, you may feel guilty or responsible. You may even feel angry at being left alone. Basically, the only thing that matters is that you persevere and go easy on yourself. There’s no “correct” way to grieve.

Take Care of Yourself

Obviously, grieving takes a toll on us. The overwhelming emotions can even tax us physically. We may find it difficult to eat or sleep, leaving us exhausted and malnourished. Therefore, it’s incredibly important to remember to take care of yourself.

Sadly, all too many people cope with loss through drugs or alcohol. These may numb the pain temporarily. However, the consumption of drugs or alcohol to deal with losing a spouse can only lead to much, much bigger problems. Ultimately, they’ll wind up making the pain much more severe.

Remember to eat right, sleep and exercise. Studies have found that the risk of death for the surviving spouse increases in the first three months following the loss. Therefore, it’s doubly important to take care of yourself and regularly visit your healthcare provider.

Seek Help & Support

Coping with the death of a spouse is as difficult, painful and confusing as it gets across all cultures. The aftermath of a husband or wife’s death can leave you feeling isolated, lonely and depressed. However, you don’t have to navigate this period alone. In fact, it will be tremendously beneficial for you to seek out resources that will help you through this difficult time.

The important thing for you to remember is that you’re not alone. You can begin by reaching out to friends and family, perhaps on Facebook or other social media, for support. If you’re not getting what you need from them, there are most likely local support groups in your community that specifically deal with the loss of a spouse. This way, you’ll be able to connect with others who are coping with or have survived losing their husband or wife. These kinds of connections usually prove to be exceptional comforts to those in this situation.

In addition to support groups, it’s never a bad idea to seek out mental health professionals. After the death of a husband or wife, most grieving spouses fall into a severe depression or experience other mental health issues. Therefore, making an appointment with a therapist or grief counselor is an excellent way to help you deal with this loss. You can contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) at 1-800-662-4357 for more information on finding help and treatment facilities near you.


Conclusion – St. Charles Monuments

While the death of a husband or wife may seem insurmountable, it’s a setback you can survive. At St. Charles Monuments, we’re always here to help you through this difficult period by crafting an exquisite custom monument that eternally honors your loved one’s life.


What people say about us

“Thank you Marcus. We drove by the monument yesterday afternoon. My husband and I were very pleased. Thank you for giving us a gift of comfort and peace.”

Mary Amber

“Thank you so much. It has been a comforting and pleasant experience working with St. Charles Monuments. The memorial set looks great.””

Pam Carter

“The headstone is beautiful. They did a fantastic job. Again my family and I thank you for all your help with suggestions and with the arrangements.”

Laura Leddy

“My family and I visited my husband’s grave today. We were very pleased with the results. It looks very nice. Thank you.””

Mrs. Guginsky

 for all Cemeteries in NY & NJ
 for all Cemeteries in NY & NJ
 for all Cemeteries in NY & NJ
 for all Cemeteries in NY & NJ