How to Choose a Cemetery Monument

Choosing a cemetery monument is one of the most meaningful decisions a family can make after the loss of a loved one. A monument serves as a permanent tribute—one that honors a life, preserves memories, and provides a place for reflection for generations to come. While the process can feel overwhelming, understanding the key considerations early on can make it far more manageable.

At St. Charles Monuments, we have guided families across Long Island through this process for decades. In this two-part series, we break down how to choose the right cemetery monument step by step. Part 1 of choosing a cemetery monument focuses on the foundational decisions, including cemetery rules, monument types, materials, budgeting, and timing.

Step 1: Understand Your Cemetery’s Rules First

Every cemetery has rules and regulations regarding monument placement. Some cemeteries allow large headstone placements virtually anywhere. Others have rather strict rules regarding the size of every headstone that goes in the cemetery. As an example, Mount St. Mary Cemetery requires all upright headstones to have a base.

Many Long Island cemeteries also have policies regarding what type of material the headstone is to be made of. For instance, Mount Ararat Cemetery only allows granite monuments but does not allow black granite at all.

Once you’ve chosen your cemetery, you can call the cemetery or its website to see their rules and regulations. However, the team at St. Charles Monuments can provide guidance on the cemetery and what your options are for the memorial.

Step 2: Choose the Monument Type

There are several types of cemetery monuments, and the right choice often depends on cemetery regulations, family preferences, and personal tradition.

Upright Monuments (Headstones)

Upright monuments are traditional headstones that stand vertically. They are highly visible and allow for more detailed inscriptions, artwork, and symbolism. These monuments are often chosen by families who want a strong, lasting presence at the gravesite.

Private Mausoleums

Private mausoleums are freestanding structures designed to house one or more caskets or cremation urns above ground. These monuments offer families a distinctive and enduring way to memorialize loved ones while creating a private, dignified space for remembrance.

Often constructed from high-quality granite, private mausoleums can be customized in size, architectural style, and layout. Options may include single crypts, companion mausoleums, or larger family mausoleums intended for multiple generations. Interior features such as polished stone finishes, engraved panels, religious symbols, and seating areas can also be incorporated, depending on cemetery regulations.

Private mausoleums are subject to strict cemetery guidelines regarding placement, size, design, and foundation requirements. Not all cemeteries allow them, and those that do typically require detailed approvals before construction begins. Because of this, careful planning and professional guidance are essential.

Flat Markers (Grass or Lawn Markers)

Flat markers sit flush with the ground and are common in memorial parks or lawn-style cemeteries. They offer a clean, simple appearance and are often easier to maintain. While more subtle, flat markers can still be beautifully personalized.

Slant Markers

Slant markers feature a gently angled face that provides improved visibility while maintaining a lower profile than upright monuments. They offer a balance between tradition and simplicity.

Family and Estate Monuments

Some families choose larger memorials designed for multiple burials. While these are typically subject to stricter regulations, they can serve as a meaningful family legacy when permitted.

Granite Bench

Families often choose memorial benches as a standalone monument or to complement an existing headstone. These benches provide a place to sit, reflect, and connect with cherished memories in a serene setting. Whether placed in a cemetery or a private garden, each bench adds a personal and heartfelt touch.

At St. Charles Monuments, we help families evaluate all available options and determine which monument type aligns best with cemetery rules, personal preferences, and long-term goals.

Step 3: Select the Material

The material you choose plays a major role in both the appearance and longevity of a cemetery monument.

Choosing the right material is a balance between durability, appearance, maintenance preferences, and budget. Our team at St. Charles Monuments takes the time to explain these differences so families can make informed decisions.

Granite Monuments

Granite is the most popular and durable material used for cemetery monuments. It withstands harsh weather conditions, resists erosion, and maintains its appearance for decades. This makes it particularly well-suited for Long Island’s seasonal climate. St Charles Monuments sources Dakota Granite, which is considered among the most durable available.

Granite is available in a wide range of colors, from traditional grays and blacks to warmer tones such as reds and blues. Color choice can subtly influence the monument’s character and visual impact.

Bronze Memorials

Bronze markers are often paired with granite bases and are commonly used for flat markers. They offer a classic appearance and allow for intricate detailing. However, bronze naturally develops a patina over time, which some families appreciate as part of its character.

Marble Headstones

In visiting your local cemetery, you may have noticed that many of the older headstones (of those buried between the 1840s and 1940s, more specifically), were crafted from marble. In the past, marble was much less expensive to cut, carve, and polish. It was the dominant material through the mid-20th century. In modern times, however, we have the technology available to more easily quarry, cut, and produce granite headstones. Therefore, marble headstones have begun to fall into obscurity.

While beautiful, marble headstones tarnish more easily with age and are more susceptible to automobile and industrial pollution. Obviously, this is a relevant concern across Long Island and New York metro area.

Step 4: Set a Realistic Budget

Budget is an important consideration when selecting a cemetery monument, but it is also important to understand what factors influence cost.

Common pricing factors include:

• Monument size and style
• Material and color selection
• Level of customization and engraving
• Additional features such as artwork, etching, or special finishes

While it may be tempting to focus solely on upfront cost, families should also consider long-term durability and craftsmanship. A well-made monument is an investment in permanence and peace of mind.

At St. Charles Monuments, we work closely with families to provide clear pricing, flexible options, and honest guidance—ensuring there are no surprises and that every family finds a monument that fits both their vision and budget.

Step 5: Design the Monument

Monument design is where remembrance becomes personal. While cemetery regulations guide size and style, there is often significant flexibility in layout, engraving, and artistic details.

Key design elements include:

• The shape and proportions of the monument
• The placement of text and artwork
• The balance between simplicity and decorative features

Some families prefer a traditional design that emphasizes elegance and restraint, while others choose more expressive layouts that incorporate imagery, custom etching, or symbolic elements. There is no “right” or “wrong” approach—only what feels most meaningful to the family.

Stone Finish

All headstones need a strong finish. The type of finish on the headstone will determine its durability and appearance over time. As we mentioned earlier in this post, make sure you check out your chosen cemetery’s rules and regulations. Some cemeteries have rules against polished monuments because they tend to give off a strong reflectiveness. If your cemetery allows polished headstones, consider partially polished, pitched or honed stones. These will all help increase durability. If your headstone has 3 or more colors, a honed finish will give your stone more depth.

Headstone Imagery

Many families prefer to include only text on their loved one’s headstone, but some favor including images. Images can include etchings of religious symbols, or flowers, or animals. Again, think about your loved one’s personality and what kinds of interests they had. St. Charles Monuments has a wide array of images for you to choose from. If you are including photography in your headstone, make sure you see proofs before finalizing the transaction.

Cameo Photos

A headstone cameo photo offers a timeless and personal way to honor your loved one’s memory. These elegant, full-color or black-and-white ceramic portraits are permanently affixed to the headstone or monument, creating a lasting visual tribute. At St. Charles Monuments, we carefully craft and install each cameo photo using durable, weather-resistant materials designed to withstand the elements for generations.

Step 6: Write the Inscription

The inscription is often the most powerful element of a cemetery monument. It preserves a name, a legacy, and a connection across generations.

The standard inscriptions, in order, are:

1. Full legal name
2. Nickname, if used (in quotes)
3. Dates of birth and death
4. Relationship descriptor (Beloved Father, Devoted Mother, etc.)
5. Epitaph or quote

Inscription Length

How long can the inscription be? This depends on monument size and font choice. A general rule is that an upright monument can accommodate 4–6 lines of primary text comfortably; a flat marker typically accommodates 2–4. The St. Charles Monuments team proofs every layout before carving.

Inscription Font

The size and style of font is quite important when it comes to monument selection. Consider the size of the headstone and what font would fit best on it. This also depends on what your epitaph says.

If you prefer a traditional look, try using a Roman or Old English font.

Sans-serif fonts (like block lettering) are increasingly popular for modern designs and read clearly from a distance.

23K Gold Leaf Lettering

There are several key reasons why we at St. Charles Monuments use 23K gold leaf rather than cheaper alternatives like paint or vinyl. While the shape and color alone make beautiful and striking features, it’s the text that truly represents your loved one.

Gold leaf lettering adds visibility and elegance to a cemetery monument.

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Need examples and inspiration for the inscription? See our post on Headstone Inscription Ideas.

Step 7: Choose Symbols and Artwork

Many families choose to incorporate religious or symbolic imagery into a monument. These elements can provide comfort, express faith, and reflect cultural traditions.

Common symbols include:

• Religious Symbols: Crosses, Stars of David, menorah, praying hands
• Symbols of Peace: Angels, doves, or florals
• Military Insignia: Flags, military symbols
• Fraternal Emblems: Masonic square and compass, Knights of Columbus
• Personal Imagery: Nature scenes, hobbies, custom portraits

St. Charles Monuments has an extensive library of pre-approved symbols and designs. Families do not have to provide original artwork for most common choices.

For Jewish families choosing a Jewish Monument, view our Jewish Monument and Memorial Symbols post for more ideas.

For general symbolism, view our A Simple Guide to Popular Headstone Symbols post for more ideas.

Step 8: Plan for the Future

For families planning a companion or family monument, it is important to think ahead. Design layouts should accommodate future inscriptions without compromising balance or readability.

Planning ahead may include leaving space for additional names or dates, matching lettering styles for consistency, and ensuring symmetry in layout as inscriptions are added over time

This forward-thinking approach helps preserve the monument’s visual harmony for years to come.

• Open date lines: when ordering a companion or family monument, it is standard practice to leave one date line open (no ‘death’ date for the surviving spouse or future family members). We will confirm with the cemetery whether they need to be notified when an open date is later completed.
• Adding inscriptions later: St. Charles Monuments can return to an existing monument to add new lettering when a companion burial occurs. Adding lettering is simple when planned for, and does not require a new monument.
• Pre-planning: Pre-Planning a monument in advance of need allows the family to specify placeholder dates that are completed later.

Step 9: Understand the Timeline

A common question we get asked is: how long does this take? In a time when you are plagued with funeral arrangements, carrying out your loved one’s wishes, dealing with finances and lawyers, St. Charles wants to make choosing the cemetery monument simple for families.

While this timeline is realistic, that does not mean it reduces anxiety. This is why pre-planning matters. Families who wait until after a loss are working under pressure and tight timeframes. Pre-planning allows you to take your time with each step.

Step 10: Work with St. Charles Monuments

Choosing a cemetery monument is a deeply personal journey—one that combines emotion, tradition, and careful decision-making.

From initial design concepts to final installation, St. Charles Monuments is proud to serve families throughout Long Island with compassion, craftsmanship, and attention to detail. Our goal is to create monuments that not only meet expectations, but truly stand the test of time.

If you are ready to begin the process or have questions about monument design, inscriptions, or cemetery requirements, our experienced team is here to help—every step of the way.