How to Arrange a Jewish Memorial Service
How to Plan a Jewish Memorial Service: A Guide from St. Charles Monuments
At St. Charles Monuments, we understand that losing a loved one is one of life’s most difficult experiences. As a family-owned company with deep roots in the Long Island community, we are proud to offer compassionate, knowledgeable support to families planning Jewish memorial services. From helping you design a custom Jewish headstone to navigating cemetery regulations, installations, unveilings, cleanings, and repairs—we walk with you every step of the way.
There’s a lot to think about when a loved one passes, and many families aren’t sure where to begin. Our goal is to ease your burden by outlining the essential steps of planning a Jewish memorial service. We provide the guidance and care you need during this deeply emotional time.
Planning the Details of the Memorial Service
While Jewish customs can vary slightly depending on whether your family follows Orthodox, Conservative, or Reform traditions, certain elements remain consistent. Below are some key components to consider:
1. Kriah – The Tearing of Garments
At the beginning of the service, mourners typically perform the Kriah ritual, where clothing is torn to symbolize grief. This is usually led by the rabbi. The Rabbi will explain the significance and guide immediate family members through the act. In some cases, a symbolic black ribbon may be used instead of tearing garments.
2. Eulogies and Reflections
Choosing who will speak at the service is a deeply personal decision. Eulogies, or Hesped, are meant to honor the deceased honestly and humbly. In Jewish tradition, it is important not to exaggerate or glorify. Speak truthfully about the person’s virtues, character, and impact. Whether a rabbi, spouse, child, or close friend delivers the eulogy, it should be heartfelt and reflective of the person’s life.
3. Traditional Readings and Prayers
The memorial service typically begins with the recitation of Psalm 23, which is often followed by additional psalms that reflect the tone and memory of the loved one. One of the most commonly included prayers is the Kel Maleh Rachamim, which asks for the eternal rest of the departed soul. In some traditions, El Malei Rachamim and the Mourner’s Kaddish are also read during or after the burial.
The Funeral Procession and Burial
Jewish tradition encourages mourners and visitors to accompany the body to its final resting place. This act of levayah, or “accompaniment,” is a final show of respect and love. While some families prefer to limit the burial to close relatives, it is considered an honor for many to attend and participate in the burial itself.
Once at the cemetery, the rabbi will typically lead the final prayers and coordinate the lowering of the casket. It is customary for mourners and guests to participate in placing earth into the grave, a symbolic gesture of closure and respect.
After the Burial: Unveiling and Monument Services
While the initial burial happens quickly, Jewish tradition reserves the unveiling of the monument for a later date. Typically around the one-year anniversary of the passing or after 11 months. This ceremony allows loved ones to gather again, reflect, and formally dedicate the headstone or monument in honor of the deceased.
At St. Charles Monuments, we specialize in designing and crafting custom Jewish headstones that adhere to religious customs and Long Island cemetery regulations. We also provide professional cleaning, restoration, and engraving services to ensure that your loved one’s memorial remains a lasting tribute for generations to come.
Compassionate Support Every Step of the Way
We know how overwhelming it can be to plan a memorial while dealing with the emotions of loss. That’s why our team at St. Charles Monuments is here to guide you. We guide our clients through the technical aspects like headstone design and cemetery paperwork.
If you’re in need of help designing a custom monument that reflects your loved one’s life and faith, please reach out. We’re honored to serve our community with empathy, tradition, and excellence.
